There it lies...

Monday.  The last Monday of April.  Monday.  Start of 3-5 days of chocolate and coffee consumption beyond reasonable amounts.  Monday on the week of TCAPs.  Where is my motivation?  Friday.  My motivation will arrive on Friday.  Probably on the wings of angels or something magnificent.  Creativity?  Hm.  Not had that in a few weeks.  Handsome Hubby's the one that's been rocking out these benches, I'm just helping move wood, paint wood and wash brushes.  I can't think of a thing that would be great to crochet and when I do it, nothing moves.  sigh.

I've considered taking on a full time job.  That's right, outside of the home.  However, this summer I'll be keeping my two nephews one if not two full days each week.  Handsome Hubs works from home doing not one but THREE full time jobs and keeping LilBit happy and quiet is hard enough (Legs is a teenager, he'll be on the computer or cell phone all day) but add two nephews in there and it's near impossible to get anything else done.  Plus we've doubled the size of our garden, have about 12 blueberry bushes that output all summer, strawberry plants already blooming, blackberry bushes that the nephews help me pick and clear off and possibly 2-5 young ladies (daughters of my friend Leila) that may come visit so their mom can find a moment of sanity. I'm not sure where to squeeze in full time employment. lol

Okay, procrastination.  I've got to get a shower dude.  Get behind me Satan, I've got a Monday to tackle!!

The good news?  Only 3 more Mondays left in the school year! Wait.  Is that good news?

So much for the last day of Frost

The final frost date of the year was about a week and a half ago.  That's almost never the case but it's like Daylight Savings Time, it's a made up la-la-land kind of thing that's just to make some old fart in DC happy and feel like he's accomplished something.  Yep, Frost Warning for last night/this morning. So last night after a dinner of Walmart frozen Chinese food (yeah I said it but I make that stuff gooood), Handsome Hubby and I waddled out to the strawberry garden to pull a tarp and piece of plastic over our strawberries.  At the moment they are the only things in the ground (from last year) and we don't want to lose those little guys.

That means this morning, 6am freakin Casio sounding alarm clock strikes.  Pft, it's Friday and the kids don't care, dog barking, yup, 10 more minutes.  He can wait.  Abuse? Nope he's a year old, that's bladder control buddy.  So 6:10 I drag out of bed, throw on a bra (ugh) and jeans and stumble to the kids rooms.  LilBit, already up watching videos.  "The dog's been barking for 10 minutes.  Are you even dressed?"  LilBit: "Nah."  He continues to blah blah and I walk out.

Legs fell asleep on the couch at 6:30-7pm last night but found his room in the night sometime.  He's awake but not up.  Down the stairs.  Let the dog out and tell him he needs to be quiet.  He's learning the art of SHH.  Then it's over to the coffee, down the stairs to find something sports team related because it's Sports Team dress up day at school.  They're doing this to get money for Relay for Life this year but instead of an actual Relay they're having them dress up on Fridays and bring a dollar for 2 months.  Can't see the error in that. sigh.

Nothing in the basement.  Nothing on the first floor.  Panting, I go let the dog in.  It's 37 degrees afterall.  I take him up to LilBit's room and deposit him there so I can go outside.  The sun is very nearly up and I've got to uncover the strawberries.  Uncover those and leave that crap in the yard.  Whatever, it's not strawberries.  Come in, go release the dog and find a Steelers jacket for LilBit.  Throw clothes on both kids bed, unspeaking, and walk out.  I'll see those little boogers in 15 minutes.  Oh Lord 15 minutes? It's only 6:30?? sigh. It's going to be a long day.  But at least we'll have strawberries this summer. I don't have strawberry pics so instead you get the onions planted last spring bloomed this spring with bumblebees and our indoor tomato plants...Lego For Scale :p

How has your gardening fared?

Not a dog groomer

I'm a lot of things around here, wife, mom, 80s music in-van lounge singer, bad dancer, sometimes cook and cleaner, crafter, off my rocker, but dog groomer I am not.  I don't keep up with grooming like I should.  Our Miniature Schnauzer, Moose, dislikes it and just wants to lie down and shake lightly instead of being groomed standing.  It takes me longer than I'd like because I wait too long to do it.  The first "after winter" grooming I did (because he should have longer hair for warmth and let's face it, they're cute when they're all curly) I wished I'd had sheep sheers.  Seriously, I said that.  Hubby was against it but we watched it on Dr Pol so it has to be legal.

Last night I finished the groom job and while Moose is hardly ever stationary, it's a beautiful day out and he's walking a path past my already unruly Apple Mint plants.  Those, by the way, are for sale.  The dog is not.  Most days.  He is pretty cute though. :)

A Day in the Life...

Just so I can look back at this after my nervous breakdown and say "oh yeah, THAT'S why", I've decided that today is the day I'm going to blog my whole day's events.  If you don't have coffee, grab some.

I only have a moment now so I'll post the time, what's gone on and edit later when I have more moments.  *HA This will be a poor decision*Shhhhhh, who asked you* :p

6am -- Alarm goes off.  I'm not entirely sure wth that noise is but I don't like it.  As I roll over I think "that shouldn't be going off, it's Sunday".  To my dismay I realized it was Tuesday.  I have a full day of stuff going on so I lovingly rubbed hubby's chest to make him roll over and hit snooze. :)

6:10 - 7am -- This thing again.  It hates me.  Hubby mumbles "I'm sorry" and hits snooze.  I'm certain he was still dreaming.  I, however, mumble incoherently...yeah, even to me, and get up.  I don't even bother to hit the bathroom yet because that will wake the dog in the bathroom below and he'll yelp and bark until someone lets him outside.  The bathroom is his "room" for the nights.  It's dark, the kids don't bother him and it's his comfort zone.  His bar-less crate, if you will.

So I stumble into LilBit's room.  This is always a crapshoot.  Some mornings he's up and watching a video on his computer, or by some miracle from above he's downstairs and has already let the dog out.  This morning he's sleeping hard.  At least his glasses are off. sigh.  Kiss his forehead "Baby, it's 6:10, you wanted to get up early so you have game time before school.  Don't forget that I won't be coming back up here until time for the bus, so get up.  I have to go wake your brother for a shower." LilBit : "whhuuut?" I repeat what I said and start out of the room.  LilBit : "wait, what? wait. Can you make me something to eat?" I return and say "Of course, but I have to wake your brother, get the dog out and get some coffee.  I promise to feed you but you have to be up for that. Cmon baby." and off I go to the other kid's room.

This goes more quickly.  "Legs, time to get up.  You've got to get your shower, okay?" nods. "Okay, cmon baby I'll start the shower." I start the shower, finally get to pee and as I'm leaving the room Legs is ready to go in.  I go back to his room, grab socks and undies and slip them through the crack in the door of the bathroom.  LilBit is up and shirt on.  He's mumbling something or other about a game dream he had and I hand him pants.  Let the dog out.  He wants to jump and love but I'm totally not awake or caffeinated enough for that.  On the lead, he goes out.  LilBit wants cereal (don't judge) so he grabs the milk and spoon, I grab two coffee cups (Hubs will be up eventually) and a bowl.  Cereal poured, sugars placed in cups, my coffee poured, creamered and milk in the cereal.  BOOM! I'm on a roll now!

LilBit is watching Garfield on Neflix and eating, Legs is still in the shower and I'm reading local news and hitting up Facebook.  Sue me.  6:45am comes around and it's time to crack the whip.  Go upstairs to make sure Legs is out and he is.  He's dressed but he's under the covers, towel on his wet hair and tissue sticking out of  his nose.  "No way kid.  You were out yesterday with sinus problems and headaches, you've got to go today.  You'll only be there til 1:30 and I have to get you to the dentist."  He hands me the tissue. "LAWD NO.  I'll bring you the trash can, I'm not touching your snot-rag."  At least he laughed but got up and finished his readiness.  I head off to grab a shirt that I've not slept all night in and wake Hubs.  His boss will probably call early this morning (he works from home for a company in Virginia) so I want him lucid-ish.  Kissy kissy, I hit his snooze again and go downstairs.  LilBit's ready, Legs is ready, dog...well I can't put him out he'll bark for ever and not only wake Hubs in a bad mood but Mom-In-Law in her little house next door so um, I turn on the lights in the basement and in he goes. I whisper "shhh" and let him know I'll be right back.  He's usually VERY good and is only in there 10 minutes or so.

TV off, Kids ready, Coffee slurped, grab keys and head out the door.  It's 45 degrees, br.  At least the sun is shining.  Van's cold, wet, back wiper doesn't work, side windows soaked but wiper works.  Drive to the end of our long driveway *yup, lazy.  We walk when we have time but didn't this morning*  This is where I give the usually lectures and go over the day's plan.

Me : "I'll pick you guys up somewhere around 1:30.  LilBit, I've already emailed both your teachers, they should have your progress report ready for you, if not, we'll get it tomorrow so no big deal.  Be aware that you'll be in trouble because your online grade shows 34 in Science." 

LilBit : "Why would I be in trouble?"  An eyebrow raises and head tilts "Dooood." sigh.

I look in the back, "Legs, I've emailed...everyone.  Your homeroom teacher knows you'll be leaving and will try to get your so Advanced Choir before you check out.  If you have time, go get it.  If not, tomorrow." nods.

LilBit : "Why would I be in trouble?"

Me : "For freaking... seriously...34? Really??"

School bus rolls up, out they go with much "love you, love you, love you" and "Have a wonderful day and I'll see you soon!"  I start to back up and LilBit is standing on the far side of the bus, still waving at me. Awwwww :D That's mommy's baby. :)  I'm not mad, however I do want to slap my damn head. sigh.

It's only 7am people.  7AM.  I back down the driveway with my door open because I'm in a van that's got some weird Titanic drenched windows going on.  WTH is that?  Something dead?  Yep, something dead in the yard by the woods.  May be a rabbit.  Wasn't there yesterday.  No face.  Interesting.  Not enough coffee for this, keep it in reverse, let dog out of the basement and outside so he can be sure his boys are really gone.  Hubs gets up at 7:15, I'm already pouring and stirring his coffee.  His feet hit the first floor and his cell phone rings.  Work has begun.  Me? Staring at an unfinished project I'm sewing and blogging this till nearly 8. sigh.  Gotta go get that dead thing and pitch it over the fence. ew.

**LilBit's grade is low because they are on a 9 Week schedule here.  This is the middle of that 9 weeks.  They only have 4 grades for Science because they missed about a full week in snow days when 2 ice storms hit.  He has 3 daily grades and one test grade.  The test was actually a worksheet he had a week to turn in but lost it and made a 0.  No make up.  *smh* 100 on one daily that was actually Science related.  The other two grades are for the TN TCAP stuff.  He's having to be graded on the review sheets for the Standardized Tests they'll take next week sometime.  He made a 64 and 38 so now his overall grade is 34 for this semester.  I've emailed and emailed the teacher and she's not responded.  sigh.  It's been a long year.**

Breaktime.  I'll edit and put the time edited, all day so feel free to check back.  Bring coffee.

*EDIT 10am*
Handsome hubby, MIL and I took a check to the bank for deposit, went to Ace Hardware for poly and/or stain for a new bench/table project that handsome hubby's doing (got a beautiful redish stain for next time and decided on our own poly) and went to the store so MIL could get cigarettes and hubs pumped my gas and cleaned my windows. :D  Now back home but can't do poly because our stain is still damp.  Handsome decided to go till the garden some and I think I'll shave the dog.  He's a mini schnauzer, it's how they roll.

*EDIT 8pm*
I started shaving the dog and after about half an hour I decided to take a break, let him go out, I got some ice water for my hubby and grabbed the shovel and claw to dig out weeds around the strawberries.  That lasted me until 12:15.  I had to come in, clean up, shave the dog a tad more, get showered and be out the door by 1:10 to go to the HS, pick up Legs (who still did not turn in his dr note or bring in his progress report and didn't get out of there until almost 1:30), go get LilBit (1:40) and drive rapidly safely to the dental appointment where we arrived exactly on time.  Filled out paperwork crazy fast and went back with LilBit for his cleaning so I could ask questions.  LilBit has 3 cavities but they are tiny.  He does have a baby tooth stuck they'll have to pull.  We have an appointment set for all that in May.  Legs was next and asked that I go with him.  They pulled the 1/2 of a baby tooth that never came out but did crack, he has 2 even smaller cavities and I have his appointment set in May also.  2 doctors notes, 2 referrals (LilBit in case he needs to be knocked out for his cavities ... crazy right... and Legs for a free consultation with another doc to see about braces and payment plans), plus 2 appointment cards for May and October cleaning.

I had to stop at Dollar General on the way home to grab some 7up.  I tried to buy some Pepsi in bottles for MIL, it's her fave, and they said they couldn't sell them to me.  They were new to the store, were not in the computer and were out of date anyway.  Homeward bound.  Got home around 3:40.  Hubby The Magnificent was already working on a wonderful dinner.  He'd run out to the store and purchased some stuff to grill, made macaroni salad, got mushrooms and onions to grill and zucchini to fry.  And rolls.  It was a fabulous feast.  I helped where I could but felt kinda useless overall.  I did dishes and fried the zuke. :p  After we were so full we were sick I took the dog in to shave a bit more.  He's very nearly done and I usually get it all done at once in a couple of hours but neither of us are into all that this time.  I'll finish him tomorrow.  My exhausted hubby has crashed an hour and a half early.  The kids are somehow wired up and can't go to bed this early.  The dog is just dog tired so I'm gonna put him out and hit the sack.  If he wakes me before 6am there will be dog for lunch. *BWA HA HA HA*

TortChore Chart

Torture.  I torture my children.  Yep, I admit it.  Every day, 7 days a week.  With Chores.  I absolutely do have a list of chores and the kids are required to do them.  I'm so horrible.

Years ago I wanted to get my boys into doing chores simply to help me out because they were in elementary/middle school and their dad was away for work.  I started a chore chart.  That never took off.  So I came up with cutting out the chores and putting the papers in a container so they could shake it and choose one to do.  It wasn't long before they were tired of that.  It came down to: *pulls paper* Nope. *puts paper in*...*pulls paper* Nope. *puts paper in*...*pulls paper*THIS AGAIN?!?

We tried lists off an on but nothing would stick.  A few months ago I offered an allowance (something I never do) for services rendered, as it were.  4th grader gets $5 per week if he completes his.  9th grader gets his cell phone paid for each month, $50 through straighttalk.  No worky, no pay, no phone.  We started again with 3 choices off of the list per week and they had 3 daily things that had to be done, make the bed, pick up laundry in their room and keep the floor clean.  After a month that went down the toilet.  They started being "forgetting" to do chores until Saturday and still expected pay.  sigh.  They were worn out and aggravated because they waited a week and had to do it all at once. 

I told these lovely children, whom I torture, that they could try something fun and just do one a day.  One chore a day and that would just take so much stress off.  They fell for it.  Suckers.  It was another two months before they realized they were doing 7 chores a week.  Of course once the bomb dropped they refused to do anything.  LilBit though had amassed a pretty good deal of money.  Legs gets his phone...or he doesn't.  Either way, I win.  It's a little bit of aggravation when I have to chase them across the house listing the blue million things I run circles around them with chore-wise but they eventually get stuff done.

This is the one I did for the kids.

Today I decided to redo the chore list.  Since they think it's torture anyway I decided to name it their Tort-chore List.  I've made a pdf so all of you delightful parents can join me in torturing your children.  Cmon, it's good for them. :D *insert devious laughter*

I used some minecraft images found all over the known world and left things blank for you to add your own tortures chores.
Click here for your PDF download