Sunday, May 10, 2015

Happy Mother's Day

And so it began, in 1976 a beautiful, young, 28 year old woman, Wanda, gave birth to a little girl.  Wanda loved that little girl with all of her heart and that baby girl loved her.

After much cooing and soiling of diapers the baby girl noticed a teeny change in mommy.

Another baby was born just shy of two years later.

Wanda loved both of her girls.  She wouldn't let anything or anyone come between the three of them.  Those who tried regretted it dearly.  She taught these girls love, compassion, strength through adversity and equality.  They learned how hard things could be but that with love and family you could make it through even the darkest of times.

Those girls grew big and sassy but through it all they loved their mother.


Wanda put everything aside to make sure her girls were cared for.  She put her happiness on hold so her kids would have a roof over their heads and food in their bellies.

Wanda was beautiful, inside and out.  She had a wicked sense of humor.  She loved a bowl of ice cream and sitting down to watch Golden Girls with her mom, who she lived with and cared for.  She worked at the Help Center on Saturdays and would donate money so that she could get a bag of clothes to give to folks who needed them but couldn't get up there to get things themselves.  She cared for her mother who was her very best friend and she raised two, sometimes ornery, daughters who adored her.



In May 1999 she became ill and no one knew why.  After 8 days in the hospital, the machines fell silent.  Wanda's struggles were over, her pains were gone.  She left behind few bills, lots of material items, many many friends, family who adored her, people she'd touched with her kindness and two daughters who were lost in a sea of questions, sadness and loneliness with a deep dark hole where once had been her light in a long tunnel.





When my grandfather, mom's dad, had died mom told us "There are things in this world you won't understand.  Things that hurt and questions that won't be answered.  Papa is gone but part of him will always be with us.  He's always nearby and he's gone to build a home for our family in heaven so that we will all be together with him someday.  If heaven seems to far, think of it as Arizona.  It's a long way away but one day you'll get to go and we'll all be together where the streets are as gold and love abounds."

I don't remember any Mother's Days I shared with mom.  I remember cards and gifts but I don't remember what they were or her reactions.  A year after we lost mom we had her first grandchild, a boy.  Then sis had one a few years later, I had another one and then sis had another one.  Four grandsons staggered in age.  She'd be so proud of her daughters, their husbands and her grandbabies.  I know she's with us always and though Arizona is far away I know one day we'll all be together in the home she's helping build and adding rooms to for all of us.

Today is Mother's Day.
I miss mom to the depths of my being but I know that I have a wonderful sister, two fantastic half sisters and another half sister I have yet to reach out to (we've only just learned about her) that are all mother's celebrating this day.  Not just because we have awesome moms but because we ARE awesome moms.

I am fortunate, on this Mother's Day because I have a freaking fabulous husband who loves the hell out of me.  Even when I'm bonkers, he loves me.  I have two loonytoon children who are healthy, happy and love me completely (even when they are aholes).  I have a beautiful home and sunshine on my shoulder.  No matter what is thrown my way, I have abundant love in my life.  That was brought to me by a little lady named Wanda, est. 1948, born in me 1976, Tif 1978, Legs 2000, Seth 2003, Lil Bit 2005 and Sid 2007.





Legs and Lil Bit 2005, 2012 and 2014.

Wednesday, May 6, 2015

DIY Craftyness with plastic bottles!

I thought I'd make this a DIY Wednesday!
I found lots of lovely ideas on DIY All Things on Facebook this morning (link to their blog) and it got me looking all around for more fun ideas!















I also found two wonderful ideas on DIYnCrafts blog. I think if you use just small child water bottles (empty of course) with glow sticks you could float them in the pool or bathtub! The other is a Privacy Curtain made from the bottoms of 2 liter or 20oz bottles. They could be painted different colors as well.





And the last one I found on pinterest.  I just searched for Plastic Bottle Crafts and these came up.  This one is just for plastic bottle bird houses or feeding stations.  You could fill them with seeds and place a little landing out side the front for them. :)

I think that's about it for now.  If you have other ideas, comment them!


Sunday, May 3, 2015

She's havin a baby

Not newborns but one of my favs
I have a friend who is just a few weeks out from having her first baby. For those of us who have been there, done that I thought maybe we could throw some memories and helpful advice from labor/delivery/first days toward the new mom and dad to maybe help them ease into it. I'll get us started, since, you know, it's my blog.

Labor/Deliver :
I went in to my first one thinking "Oh my, I simply must stick to my birthing plan and have no drugs unless absolutely medically necessary"  And that worked out smashingly until I'd been in labor for 12 solid hours.  Long story short, trial and error... epidural.  I'm a huge fan.  Yes, they do have to put it in the spine.  Yes you have to stay completely still (with the help of your hubs because you can't just stay still in contractions).  Totally worth it.  Do a leave in.  They set it up just like a PICC line in your arm but if the labor drags on you do NOT want to have to try to stay still for a second epi.  It didn't make me crazy, it let me focus on pushing but without the intense pains.  I could still feel pressure and enjoy (if you want to call it that) the birthing process.  It doesn't make you weak that you take pain meds.  It does not make you a bad person that you can't hack it.  We have those medications there for a reason.  You have a headache, you take tylenol.  You have a baby, you epidural.  If you can go natural, all for it.  If you can't, don't sweat it.  I hated myself for ages because "Native women use to squat by trees and push out their babies...I can do this"  No, no they didn't. 

Dad...know this. 
1)  It's gross in there.  I kid you not.  See the baby's head or whatever but know that afterbirth is like a whole other child.  My hubs wishes he'd never even seen that part. LOL  Poor thing.  Freaked him out.
2)  Your wife may say and do things in there that she would not ordinarily do.  Pretend it never happened.  There is enormous pressure down and ... well ... poop.  There may or may not be poop.  The room will be 80+ degrees for when baby is born and it will be hot, and smelly. 
3)  If you do video and pictures, do a during labor and "aw they're cleaning the baby" but she will want to look beautiful for first pics.  Mine are scary.

Mom...you may poop.  Don't be embarrassed, you just push.  Doc, nurses, there is NOTHING they have not seen.  I promise you.  If you need oxygen, ask for it.  If something feels wrong, tell them.  If you have questions, ask them.  It's their job.  OH but if they ask you if you mind nursing students coming in or shift change nurses...just say no.  It's your vagina, not a side show.  You think "it'll help some nursing student" maybe, but before you know it you have 15 people in there ooing and awing your vajay and you don't want to look back on that and say ugh. 

Whether you are for or against vaccinations, let them do the K Vitamin and all of that.  SO many parents are against vaccinating these days and that's fine for you but there are thousands of babies who die because their parents choose not to do the initial stuff.  Do you feel bad when baby gets a little stick? Absolutely, but tears that dry vs. losing the lil thing or blindness/death from infections it couldn't fight is much worse.

What do you really need at the hospital?
Honestly, not as much as you think.  One change of clothes for you.  Yes, you'll still need all your maternity stuff after the baby's born.  I know you think "oh thank God, I can put on regular clothes again", think again.  You'll need to wear them a while longer.  But not long.  You'll still be swollen so stretchy pants are best.  Keep using lotion.  Bring something to sleep in, you'll want out of the gown pretty quick.  Music, of course.  Camera for tons of pics.  Extra batteries.  Tablet, laptop or something for when baby is sleeping and one or two outfits for baby.  Have your baby bag ready.  Always have 10 or so diapers in there, more wipes than you think you'd ever need (the first week's poos are sticky), baby lotion and burp cloths.  I took way too much for the first one.  Remember, your husband can go get more if you need it.

At Home:
Sleep when baby sleeps.  I can't stress this enough.  The first week will be a blur.  If dad or grandma can keep the baby while you sneak in a few z's here and there, do it.  I felt so guilty with my first because I wanted to be there for every moment.  Don't.  You know who is there with you every two hours when baby wants boobie?  Dad.  And news flash but baby don't want those boobs.  You won't have enough milk to use the pump the first week so you may have to supplement with formula.  It's not bad parenting.  You can use breast milk with formula if you need to.  The important thing is that baby eats, sleeps and poops.  You've got this.

Breast pain sucks.  LaLeche has tons of tips and they say "During the first two to four days after birth, the mother's nipples may feel tender".  Tender isn't the word I'd have used for mine.  I cried and muffled yelps.  I didn't want to try creams and wanted to be a big girl.  Lanolin based creams are a blessing.  I used Lansinoh but there are lots of new things.  Once they learn latching on it won't hurt.  When you want them to unlatch and switch boobs they will either have fallen asleep and come off anyway or you'll need to put your finger in there to loosen suction.

Double breast pumps will help the milk drop.  If you use single the other boob may start leaking. 

Buy breast pads.  I used Lansinoh again but if you choose fabric, keep lots on hand to change out of.  RELAX.  Take deep breaths, envision the milk flowing if that helps.  It did for me. 

Nursing bra's are amazing.  You'll want at least 2 if not 3.  Milk goes everywhere and the last thing you want is to feel gross, uncomfortable or to smell like old breast milk.  I nursed each child for 1 full year.  My kids were huge and were so ready to get off of there.  So they will get their uses and it's not a waste of money, I promise. 

Swelling.  Oh the engorgement.  I sure don't miss that.  Cabbage leaves.  Keep a head of cabbage in the fridge and slap a leaf of that in your bra cups.  Sounds bonkers.  It really helps.

Things I couldn't live without:
Carseat/stroller combo.  My aunt bought our first and it was like the Cadillac of strollers.  So for the 2nd kid I had to have one.  I walked around malls and let him sleep while I tightened up the mommy weight and had a nice cold drink and "outside" time.  (It was July in Savannah, GA so a hot day in the park wasn't happening.) 

Infantino convertible carriers are amazing.  You can't take a stroller everywhere.  You say "well between me and the hubby or family, someone will have the baby".  Yes but family reunions, etc there won't be a good spot for mom and baby to go when baby wants a nap.  You may not have a playpen or bassinet yet.  Your arms will get tired for a while.  Your family takes the baby to "show uncle Leo" and you're spinning your wheels asking everyone "have you seen the baby?"  And believe it or not, it makes breastfeeding in public easier too.  You go to the shops, stop to feed, just toss a light blanket over your shoulder and bam, privacy. 

We didn't buy a crib for the second baby.  Nope.  Sure didn't.  We didn't have room anywhere and we traveled a lot so we got something like this... Graco Pack'n Play was amazing.  Had it's own bassinet and baby was too small to get out.  On that one the swing is amazing and you'll want one anyway.

I think they each had one toy they cared about.  The others were just in the way.  Mine loved to squish those micro bead toys during nap times.  Gotta be there with them though or they'll have it over their face.

That's all I can think of for now.  If I can think of anything else I'll add it to the comments and you should too!  It's been almost 10 years since I've had a baby in the house so things have changed but one thing stays the same, it's the most wonderful experience anyone can have.  You are truly blessed.  Times will be hard but you're not the only parents to experience them and we're here to listen and offer help. :)